Kung Fu Humor: Kung Fu Hillbilly

Yes, I'm still alive! Enjoy a scene from "Diemon Dave's Ninja School" training video.

"Don't go ninjain' nobody that don't need ninjain'..."

Kung Fu Time Capsule: The Evolution of Collecting Kung Fu & Asian Film

Head on over to City On Fire and check out this very informative and entertaining article on what's basically a time-line from the early 80's to present day collecting of kung fu and asian action films! Hats off to Mighty Peking Man for his hard work in putting this together. It really brought back a lot of memories on how it used to be!

Click the image below for the article!



"Because a man can see, he does not look..."

Kung Fu Humor: How NOT to Audition!

I'm pretty sure all of these (except the guy that back-flips onto his face!) are staged, but it's still pretty funny! Enjoy "The Worst Kung Fu Movie Auditons EVER!!"

What kind of wood is this??!?"

Some wonderfully horrible (and cheap!) ninja flicks from splice-n-dice master Godfrey Ho!

New DVD Releases: 5/11/10

On May 11th, 2010, Media Blasters/Tokyo Shock are releasing the following titles:

First off, "The Kid with the Golden Arm," a classic movie featuring the Venom clan, gets it's long awaited release on DVD. With Chang Cheh at the helm, you know what to expect... Good vs Bad, lots of gimmicks, and top notch fighting! Basic story, a large shipment of gold has to make it from point A to point B... with the good guys protecting it, and the bad guys trying to steal it. Well... as you can imagine this sets the stage for many confrontations involving a lot of crazy gimmicks and weapons. This is definitely one to check out!

Also dropping today from Tokyo Shock is "Deadly Duo" on the Blu-ray format (previously available on standard definition DVD). Classic Shaw mainstays David Chiang and Ti Lung star in this old-schooler also directed by Chang Cheh.

From the Media Blasters description:

"When a handsome prince is taken captive and guarded by a martial arts master, it's up to two powerful patriots to fight overwhelming odds. From the first fascinating minute to the final desperate battle to the death culminating in an unforgettably evocative conclusion - this duo is dynamic as well as deadly."

Kid with the Golden Arm opening


"You can take the gold now, I am going to get drunk..."

New DVD Releases: 4/27/10

A couple long awaited releases are hitting the shelves today, April 27th, 2010, both from Funimation.

First off, we have one of the most popular and sought after triad movies of all time, "Hong Kong Godfather." This brutal Shaw Brothers actioner stars good ol' Beardy (Leung Kar-Yan) as a triad who leaves the biz after his wife dies, so he can care for his daughter. Well, a few years later the triad gang boss is murdered by a power-hungry traitor among the ranks, and Beardy grabs his trusty old machete and heads out for revenge. What follows is a bunch of brutal and hard-hitting fun as Beardy cleans up one mess by making a very bloody other! The finale is pure chaos. GET IT!

Also released today is another Shaw flick, this time starring Ti Lung. "Opium and the Kung Fu Master" sees Lung as one of the Ten Tigers of Kwangtung. He gets a little too hooked on the chinaman's nightcap, and can no longer defend the town. As Ti Lung spirals into addiction, his rivals take over the town, and his young student is killed trying to defend his honor. Lung snaps out of it, cleans himself up, and then cleans up the town. The action and fights are classic in this late era Shaw production.

Hong Kong Godfather finale

"Buddha bless you..."

Kung Fu Time Capsule: One-Sheets

As an addendum of sorts to my last Time Capsule post on admats, I shuffled through my one-sheet collection and took pics of the posters I have for those fu flicks. So here I present to you "Kung Fu Warlords" and "Masked Avengers." Enjoy!

(click to enlarge)


(click to enlarge)

“Showing off is the fool's idea of glory...”

Kung Fu Time Capsule: Admats

Here's an admat for a Shaw Brothers double feature that played at the Lyric Theatre on the Deuce back in the early 1980's... The first film, "Kung Fu Warlords" is better known under it's actual title of "The Brave Archer." This classic starring Alexander Fu Sheng and directed by Chang Cheh spawned three sequels. The second film, "Masked Avengers," was another feature directed by Chang Cheh, this time starring three of the famous Venoms.

Overall I'd say it's a pretty cool double feature!

Scenes from Masked Avengers

“As you think, so shall you become...”

New DVD Releases: 4/06/10

Just a quick update on releases for April 6th, 2010. Well Go USA is releasing a few titles on Blu-ray. These titles are "Delightful Forest," "Brothers Five," and "The Heroic Ones." These classic Shaw Brothers films have all previously been available from Well Go USA in standard DVD, and now they're finally going the high definition route. Check out a previous review of "Delightful Forest" here.

Trailer for "The Heroic Ones"

"Amitabha Buddha..."

Trailer - Young Hero (1980)

Here's a trailer for the 1980 film "Young Hero" starring Hwang Jang-Lee, Tino Wong Cheung, and Kwan Yung-Moon. I haven't actually seen this one, but just seeing the trailer makes me want to seek out a copy. I loves me some Hwang Jang-Lee!

Hwang Jang Lee, best known as The Silver Fox from Secret Rivals, is up to his old high kicking games in this tale of revenge and counter revenge. Hwang Jang Lee is the leader of a local band of Japanese thugs whose only obstacle is Master Lok and his sons, in particular Loks fourth son who secretly practices Kung Fu. His skills eventually surpass his brothers and it is up to he and his father to stop Lee. The final fight scene alone is worth the price of admission.

Solid kung fu throughout the film with impressive acrobatics and skillful agility, but it's Hwang Jang Lees fine form and his high kicking that is the real highlight of Young Hero.

"Buddha's name be praised..."

New DVD Releases: 3/30/10

One big release this week, and one smaller release. First the big release. Making it's long awaited return to home video is John Woo's "The Killer," starring Chow Yun-Fat. Originally released to the masses by Criterion, this time Dragon Dynasty is doing the honors on both standard definition and Blu-Ray with this classic bullet-ballet.

Here's a synopsis:

When Jeffrey, a hit man, accidentally blinds a young nightclub chanteuse, his guilt makes him leave the racket to take care of her. Falling in love with the vulnerable singer, he eventually agrees to do one last hit to raise the money needed for a cornea transplant that might restore her vision. His assignment is to assassinate mob leader Tony Weng during the crowded Dragon Boat Festival. The hit is successful, despite all the police protection, and he almost gets away. But a child is injured during his escape, and Jeffrey nearly gets caught while taking the time to drive her to a nearby hospital for medical attention. Because his identity was revealed while saving the child, the new crime boss now wants him killed. Refusing to pay him for the successful hit, he puts a contract out on his life instead.

Trailer for "The Killer"


Up next is "High Kick Girl" from director Fuyuhiko Nishi. Kei (Rina Takeda) joins a karate dojo and quickly proves herself to be the most skilled fighter amongst all her male peers. However, her sensei Matsumura still refuses to give her the coveted black belt until she learns all the kata. Too impatient to wait any longer, Kei hastily joins a fighting group called the Destroyers. The Destroyers don't care about anything but fighting and earning money, and this suits Kei just fine. But when she finds out their true purpose is to destroy Matsumura, she decides she must do whatever it takes to put a stop to them.

Check out the trailer! High impact kicking, and short skirts... what's not to love here!?



"I plan to kill every one armed man I come across here..."

Kung Fu Humor: Subpar Subtitles

Time for another installment of Subpar Subtitles!

Sometimes the language barrier is harder to break than a stack of boards, and they say English is the hardest language of all to learn. Literal translations of cliches and sayings common to a particular language can be quite comical. Here's some screen caps of English subtitles taken from various kung fu and action films. Special thanks go out to Hong Kong Subtitles on Facebook and twitter. Enjoy!

That's gonna be a long list of credits...

And they go well with your underwear shoes!

Well aren't you special?

Uh oh, looks like the Chupacabra finally has some competition!

Kind of young to have that attitude already, no?

The birds and the bees, Asian style.

Go ahead, I think I'll pass...

That chicken ass must be a delicacy in China!

"I have come here to avenge my teacher..."

New DVD Releases: 3/23/10

Wow. A whole bunch of martial arts and asian cinema releases for Tuesday the 23rd! Let's start with the old and move up to the newer films...

First, coming to Blu-Ray from Criterion, we have Yojimbo and Sanjuro, two classic Kurasawa films. Here's a little run down from amazon.com:

Thanks to perhaps the most indelible character in Akira Kurosawa’s oeuvre, Yojimbo surpassed even Seven Samurai in popularity when it was released. The masterless samurai Sanjuro, who slyly manipulates two warring clans to his own advantage in a small, dusty village, was so entertainingly embodied by the brilliant Toshiro Mifune, that it was only a matter of time before he returned in a sequel. Made just one year later, Sanjuro matches Yojimbo’s storytelling dexterity, yet adds a layer of world-weary pragmatism that brings the duo to a thrilling and unforgettable conclusion.

Yojimbo (1961): To rid a terror-stricken village of corruption, wily masterless samurai Sanjuro turns a range war between two evil clans to his own advantage in Akira Kurosawa’s visually stunning and darkly comic Yojimbo.

Sanjuro (1962): In Kurosawa’s sly companion piece to Yojimbo, the jaded samurai Sanjuro helps an idealistic group of young warriors weed out their clan’s evil influences, and in the process turns their image of a proper, samurai on its ear.

Available individually, or together in a 2-disc Blu-Ray set!


Trailer for Yojimbo...



Next up we have the Red Ninja 3 Film Collection. This includes the movies "Ninjascope," (1966) "Watari the Conqueror," (1967) and "Watari and the Fantastiks" (1970). These three stories follow the fantastic adventures of Watari the Ninja Boy as he battles a bevy of evil ninjas and crazy monsters with his mystical weapons and unearthly powers! If you like it trippy, wacky, and campy, then this is for you. At the retail price of only $9.98, it's a must grab! Check out the trailer...

Trailer for Ninjascope...




Next up, from FUNimation Entertainment, is the Shaw Brothers film "14 Amazons" (1972). Long before "feminism" made it to Hong Kong, women proved themselves more than equal to men in this martial arts classic. The cast is a veritable "who's who" of the golden age of Shaw Brothers swordplay adventures, and was not only a major box office hit (ranking fourth for 1972), but also a top prize winner, including Best Supporting Actress for Lisa Lu, a special citation for outstanding lead female performance for Lily Ho, Best Director for Cheng Kang, and an award for Honourable Mention For Drama.

Also releasing from FUNimation, another Shaw production, "Shaolin Hand Lock" (1978). From the director who gave Jackie Chan and Sammo Hung early breaks in film, Ho Meng-Hua teams up with Mr. Kung Fu Hero, David Chiang, in a funky, over the top martial arts chiller based upon a secret kung fu technique that is also the film's English title, "Shaolin Hand Lock". Fans and non-fans of the genre will elate to again see Chiang match fists with Shaw's number one villain, Lo Lieh.






And finally, from Magnolia Home Entertainment, is the release of "Red Cliff" (2008). Directed by John Woo, Red Cliff follows the epic historical drama based on a legendary 208 A.D. battle that heralded the end of the Han Dynasty. A power-hungry Prime Minister-turned-General Cao Cao seeks permission from the Han Dynasty Emperor to organize a southward-bound mission designed to crush the two troublesome warlords who stand in his way, Liu Bei and Sun Quan. Vastly outnumbered by Cao Cao's brutal, fast-approaching army, the warlords band together to mount a heroic campaign - unrivaled in history - that changes the face of China forever. Red Cliff (Theatrical Version) is available in standard definition as well as Blu-Ray. Also available in SD or Blu-Ray is the Red Cliff (International version) Parts I and II.

Trailer for "Red Cliff"...



"Buddha bless you..."

Kung Fu Time Capsule: Marquees

Well looky here! It's Leg Fighters Week at the Roxy! 4 Smash hits, one admission price! Can't beat that! First up we have 'Twister Kicker,' a 1974 melodramatic basher, with a little bit less action than one would expect from a movie with that title. Next up is 'Dual Flying Kicks,' a 1978 Taiwanese production starring Chan Sing, and ol' Flash-Legs himself, Dorian Tan! Feature number three looks like 1979's 'The Magnificent,' with Carter Wong, Chan Sing, and a bunch of other familiar faces. Here's a pressbook (.PDF format) for what looks like a recent video release. And finally we have "Eagle's Killer," a 1981 flick featuring spectacular bootmaster villain Hwang Jang-Lee. What a line-up! Looks like I better get to work on my time machine!

(Click to Enlarge...)

"Quickly as you can, snatch the pebble from my hand. .."

New DVD Releases: 3/16/10

Ok, some old-school and some new-school releases are hitting the shelves today!

First for the old-school, coming from Code Red, we have a double feature of "Challenge the Dragon" (1973 - AKA The Way of the Tiger) and "The Needle Avenger" which seems to be "Dragons vs. Needles of Death" (1976 - AKA Dragon, Tiger And Phoenix). Neither title has been officially confirmed yet. According to the cover art, it says "Master Lee's Drunkard Cinema Vol. 1" which looks like this may be the beginning of a series of old school kung-fu releases from Code Red. That's a good thing in my book! Bring it on!

And for the new-school action, being released on DVD and Blu-Ray today we have "Ninja Assassin" (2009). Korean actor Rain makes his first Hollywood production appearance in this high impact modern day take on the much loved 1980's ninja flick genre. Rain takes on the role of Raizo, a ninja who teams up with an investigator and turns his back on his former ninja clan. He sets out to put an end to the ruthless violence and killings the clan is responsible for, which leads to a confrontation with his former master. Everyone's favorite 80's ninja Sho Kosugi also stars as the evil clan leader Ozunu!

"Ninja Assassin" Trailer...

"Amita Fo..."

New DVD Releases: 3/2/10

A couple great martial arts DVDs are hitting the shelves tomorrow...

Hitting Blu-ray tomorrow is the Shaw Brothers classic "The 36th Chamber of Shaolin" starring the Master Killer himself, Gordon Liu. Liu plays the role of San Te, a young rebel who's family was slaughtered by General Tien (Lo Lieh), the local Manchu head. San Te ends up at Shaolin, where he goes through rigorous training in the 35 Chambers of Shaolin. San Te becomes an accomplished fighter and returns to his hometown to get his hard worked for revenge on the Manchus. This is one of the top classic martial arts films of all time. Not your standard revenge flick, but a real movie that has heart and a real message. A must see. Released by Vivendi/Dragon Dynasty.

Also releasing on 3/2/10 by Vivendi/Dragon Dynasty is "Return To the 36th Chamber" again starring Gordon Liu. This, a sequel of sorts to the previous mentioned film, sees Liu in a more comedic light playing the role of a young man, who again, trying to keep the Manchus off the working man's back, attempts to con them into thinking he's the Shaolin master San Te! Of course this doesn't work out and he once again ends up at Shaolin and meets the real San Te, who puts him to work doing various maintenance jobs around the temple. Unbeknownst to him, he's actually learning kung fu at the same time, and finally returns to town to get his revenge. Another Master Killer classic!

"The 36th Chamber of Shaolin" opening...

"What style of Kung Fu is this? Rooftop Kung Fu!"

Kung Fu Time Capsule: Brucesploitation & One-Sheets

Ahhh.... Brucesploitation.

"Bruceploitation" came about after the death of Bruce Lee in 1973. Bruce Lee was the first martial arts film star to make a huge impact internationally. After he died, and "Enter the Dragon" became a worldwide smash hit, many of the Hong Kong film studios were afraid their productions would make less money without an internationally known star spreading the popularity of kung-fu films. So what did they do? Well, to ca$h in on the death of Bruce Lee, they hired a bunch of look-a-likes to star in cheap kung-fu films to make audiences think they were seeing an actual Bruce Lee film! These actors even changed their stage names to sound much more like Bruce Lee. Probably the three most prolific of these imitators were Bruce Li, Bruce Le, and Dragon Lee.


Bruce Li, Bruce Le, and Dragon Lee
(click to enlarge)

What we have next is a one-sheet poster that takes Bruceploitation to the EXTREME. It's a poster for a film titled "Bruce Is Loose" starring "Lee Bruce" which is actually another name that Bruce Le went by! What makes it even more confusing is the fact that NO Bruce Lee, Lee Bruce, Bruce Le, or any other Bruce imitator ever actually appears in the film at all! The film is actually "Green Dragon Inn" from 1977, starring Polly Kuan, Lo Lieh, and Yueh Hua.


(click to enlarge)
The movie "Green Dragon Inn" is good... but this poster is AWESOME. "Deadlier than Chiba, Quicker than "The Juice," Look out baby, Cause BRUCE IS LOOSE!" "Starring LEE BRUCE, the only star who could play the part written for BRUCE LEE!" "The most VIOLENT, SPECTACULAR fighting we've ever seen! - Kung Fu Express" (isn't that a chinese restaurant?) "NEVER SHOWN BEFORE!" "An Official Chinese Black Belt Society Film," whatever the hell that is! And then look at the artwork! That dude is a killing MACHINE! He's crushing one guy's sternum with a back kick, annihilating another guy's ballsack with a front kick, and SEVERING a THIRD dude's head with a chop... ALL AT THE SAME TIME! The poor fourth chap completely passed out just from sheer TERROR! I mean really, what on this poster would make somebody NOT want to see it? I guarantee this poster put quite a few asses in seats, but I wonder how disappointed the people were when they finally found out there was no Bruce(s)? Only those people know.... Anyway, thanks again for dropping by and look out for more one-sheets in the near FU-ture!

PS - I wonder if they would update the tagline to "Deadlier than Chiba, DEADLIER than "The Juice," Look out baby, Cause..." if they ever re-ran this film??

"Amitabha Buddha..."

New DVD Releases: 2/16/10

A couple notable DVD releases coming up this Tuesday...

First and foremost is "Black Dynamite," a tribute to blaxploitation films of the 70's. Michael Jai White is Black Dynamite, a vengeance minded man intent on finding and taking down the people responsible for the death of his younger brother. It was no small town job either, and Black Dynamite follows the trail all the way to the top in a great finale that has to be seen to be believed. This is a great laugh-a-minute trip filled with kung fu fights galore, blazing guns action, great "bad" acting, and sight gag throwbacks that are both expected and a surprise at the same time! Dolemite, Superfly, and Shaft all rolled into one, "Black Dynamite" is sure to become a cult classic! A MUST SEE! Available on DVD and Blu-ray on 2/16/10.

Also coming on 2/16/10 is Akira Kurasawa's "Ran." Basically Kurasawa's vision of William Shakespeare's King Lear, a historical epic about power, greed, and loyalty. Set in feudal Japan, it recounts the story of Lord Hidetora, an aging ruler who intends to divide his kingdom equally among his three sons. This sets forth a greedy power struggle between the sons which eventually drives Hidetora insane and leads to the ultimate destruction of his entire family and kingdom. This Kurasawa epic is touted as one of the greatest foreign films of all time. Available on Blu-Ray.

"How many times have I told you not to call here and interrupt my Kung Fu?!"

Black Dynamite trailer...

Kung Fu Time Capsule: Admats

Here's an old admat for an interesting double feature. First off we have "Duel of the Iron Fist" (AKA The Duel - 1971). This was a Shaw Brothers production, directed by Chang Cheh and starring Ti Lung and David Chiang. Many consider it to be the first of the Hong Kong style ganster type movies. Knife fights galore in this one!

The second feature isn't actually a Kung Fu flick at all, but a Euro-Western. Cut-Throats Nine was a Spanish western released in 1972. It follows the story of a soldier and his young daughter who have to transport a chain-gang of seven vicious criminals across some treacherous mountain terrain. It's known to be one of the most bloody and violent westerns to come out of the early 70's Europe. Definitely worth checking out!

Special thanks to Fred for this admat scan, and probably some others you'll see in the future! Check out his great review site Critical Condition: Obscure & Bizarre Films on Video & DVD!

"Blackbelt killers on the loose!"



...and...

Cut-Throats Nine

Review: Unbeaten 28 (1980)

After watching "Delightful Forest, I decided pick a flick that was a little less polished and less serious in tone. "Ahhh... "Unbeaten 28." Now this is the kind of fu flick that brings back the childhood memories. Full screen, scratchy print, old school dubbing, that boomy echoing narrator telling the lead-in story... and a lot of pure goofy fun.

"Unbeaten 28," written, produced, and directed by Joseph Kuo, stars Mang Fei as Tiger, and features Jack & Mark Long in supporting roles. The narrator tells us that the evil warlord Yen Chan Tin (Mark Long) has ordered and carried out the slaughter of a family and their entire clan. Only a baby survived, and was taken to safety to the nearby Abbot. Meanwhile we see a duel between Yen Chan Tin and a brave man who's hellbent on putting an end to Yen Chan Tin and his reign of tyranny. Needless to say, Yen Chan Tin stomps the hell out of the guy, killing him in a wonderful freeze frame shot while yelling "May you rot in hell!" Who did you THINK would win? We wouldn't have much of a story if the bad guy died in the first five minutes, now would we??

Next we find that the Abbot has taken the aforementioned baby (Tiger) to Master Yung (Jack Long), a respected kung fu instructor, to teach him the art of fighting to eventually avenge the death of his family. Master Yung takes Tiger to Lin Wan Mountain and starts his training at 1 year old with "a special diet of tiger's milk and wild herbs." In a scene I found particularly funny, we see Tiger sitting in a giant wok over a fire as Master Yung rubs hot sand on him to "temper the muscles and give the body power." "His hands were hardened in hot sand until his fingers had the strength of tensile steel!" Gotta love that narrator! Meanwhile, while Master Yung is busy training Tiger at Lin Wan Mountain, Yen Chan Tin strikes again, this time killing Master Yung's wife and all his students. Now is Tiger not only training to avenge his own family's death, but the slaughter of Master Yung's clan also!

After 18 years of constant training, Tiger is now ready to go to the Tai Shin Temple to test his skills against the 18 obstacles and be awarded the secret kung fu manual. Tiger enters the temple and must use his skills to deal with heavy bronze doors, a giggling stone man that slaps him around, fighting statues, and the effeminate 'spirit' of Tai Shin Temple that fights in various animal styles, ox, snake, and monkey included. Tiger is unsuccessful in his first attempts to complete all the obstacles, and during this time Master Yung is slain by Yen Chan Tin in a too short duel in the forest. This gives the motivation Tiger needs to complete the temple challenges, obtain the Tai Shin Kung Fu Manual, and face off in the final fight against Yen Chan Tin, which includes flying hats, a bunch of giant styrofoam rocks and fire breathing statue. Tiger emerges victorious, and we are to assume he goes on to rebuild his clan.

I found this to be a slightly better than mediocre Joseph Kuo effort. While it wasn't filled with wall to wall fights like, say, "The 7 Grandmasters," or a genre classic like "18 Bronzemen," or even up to the par of "Born Invincible," it did have enough entertaining training sequences and charming wackiness in the Tai Shin Temple and KFC's¹ to keep my interest. Meng Fei was good as Tiger, and Mark Long made an excellent villain as Yen Chen Tin. And even though he didn't really get a chance to show off much of his kung fu skill, Jack Long was quite captivating as Master Yung. Actually the one thing that disappointed me was the very short and uneventful duel between Master Yung and Yen Chen Tin. With the supreme skills of Mark & Jack Long at his disposal, Joseph Kuo really dropped the ball by not showcasing their talents and making that a longer, more dramatic battle. Altogether though, "Unbeaten 28" is certainly worth checking out, so what are you waiting for? (PS. - I still haven't figured out what the 28 were, as they only refer to the "18" obstacles of the Tai Shin Temple.... oh well, I guess that's all part of the goofy charm!)

RATING:
3 out of 5 Venoms

¹KUNG FU CLICHES: Classic dubbing, cheap props, freeze frame, confusing genders, flying hats, animal abuse, and more.

Unbeaten 28 trailer

"May you rot in hell!!!"

New DVD Releases: 2/2/10

Pretty good week for martial arts releases!

"Ong Bak 2: The Beginning" (2008) - Tony Jaa stars and co-directs this prequel of sorts to his hit film "Ong Bak: Thai Warrior." High impact stunts and fights galore in this one, as Jaa utilizes a variety of styles (Muay Thai, Wing Chun, Drunken Boxing!!) and weapons. From Magnolia Home Entertainment, available in Single Disc, Two-Disc Collectors Edition, and on Blu-ray.

"Delightful Forest" (1972) - Ti Lung stars in this blood soaked Shaw Brothers classic. Well Go USA gives this one an individual release, as it has been previously available in their Epic Heroes 4 DVD Metal Tin Collectors Set. See a review here: Review: The Delightful Forest (1972).

"Heroes Shed No Tears" (1980) - Alexander Fu Sheng stars in this Shaw Brothers wuxia fantasy. Well Go USA also gives this one an individual release, as it was also previously available in their Epic Heroes 4 DVD Metal Tin Collectors Set.

And in other good news, I got a shipment notification yesterday that my pre-order of "Five Element Ninja" has shipped! Only a one week delay, not that bad. Hopefully it will be popping up on store shelves soon. Most online retailers are still listing it as backordered, possibly there was a much higher demand than expected, which would be a great sign for future classic kung fu DVD releases!

Ong Bak 2 trailer.

"Buddha bless you..."

Kung Fu Humor: Subpar Subtitles

Sometimes the language barrier is harder to break than a stack of boards, and they say English is the hardest language of all to learn. Literal translations of cliches and sayings common to a particular language can be quite comical. Here's some screen caps of English subtitles taken from various kung fu and action films. Special thanks go out to Hong Kong Subtitles on Facebook and twitter. Enjoy!

What a kick ass pimp-cycle!

That's a great way to pick up a damsel in distress...

Better to be pissed off than pissed on, I guess...

Good, I always hated shaving myself...

Maybe you should ask her first...

Once again, great pick-up line...

Mmm! Chicken ass! My favorite!

"Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected..."

Kung Fu Time Capsule: Marquees

Back in the late 70's and early 80's, it was common to find dingy grindhouses showing double bills, triple bills, or even all day marathons of kung fu flicks. Here's a picture of a 42nd Street NYC theatre marquee in the process of being changed. I'm not sure what's coming or what's going, but I'm damn sure I would have spent the day in there watching it! How about you?

"Never take your eyes off your opponent... even when you're bowing!