Kung Fu Humor: Subpar Subtitles

Sometimes the language barrier is harder to break than a stack of boards, and they say English is the hardest language of all to learn. Literal translations of cliches and sayings common to a particular language can be quite comical. I came across the following list while cruising the web. It is a list of English subtitles taken from various Asian kung fu and action films. Whether they are true or fictional I do not know, but some of them are damn funny! Enjoy!

1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
   
3. Gun wounds again?
4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.
11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
12. You daring lousy guy.
13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!
14. I have been scared like a mouse too much lately.
15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?
19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.

"Buddha bless you..."